Facade
by FLECHER
Summary: Akuze left Shepard traumatized and scarred, but she usually keeps it all under wraps; until now. When the walls break, who'll keep her safe? OneShot mild FxF rated for violent nightmare


No real surprises here, my version of Shepard was a spacer and sole survivor, a woman called Ashira. So for my own 'amusement' so to speak, I've written a little oneshot after a nightmare about the massacre of Akuze leaves Ash feeling more than a little weak.

I was in the mood for a comforting bit of story, and I know the Akuze story has been done before, but please enjoy my little writing.

Just as a note, since all you can alter is Shepard's facial appearance- Ashira is pale skinned, with stony grey eyes and shoulder length black hair. Strong but attractive face.

* * *

_It was dark, night, but that didn't exempt her from horror. She could still see. Every time someone tried in vain to shoot at the monstrosities attacking them, the flash would light up the ground for just a second; covered in blood and severed bodies._

_Her heart was thundering in her ears, not that it did anything; she could still hear them screaming, still hear the gunfire, still hear the __**monsters **as they crunched down into a new body, showering the ground in another layer of blood._

_The earth rumbled heavily beneath her and Ashira moved faster than she ever thought she could. As the ground burst open with another Thresher Maw, she was rewarded for her survival with helpless screams as yet more of her squad were savaged._

_This wasn't how things were supposed to go. They were just here to look for survivors, and now everyone was dying; probably by the same things that took out the pioneering team._

_Ashira didn't look back, the gunfire couldn't drown out the sound of tearing flesh. She sprinted over to a broken rock formation, diving among the boulders to hide. With her eyes shut tight, she simply curled up; for a first mission she hadn't expected all of fifty marines to be **slaughtered **around her while she cowered._

_What would her parents think? They'd probably be ashamed, they were both brave soldiers; and here she was - a coward._

_Ashira grit her teeth, tightening her hold around her rifle. She wanted to stop shaking, to stop feeling like she was about to be sick; she wanted to scream._

_A rattling groan made her eyes open, and scream she did, as the bloody, shredded body of a fellow marine greeted her gaze. She cracked…_

Ashira jerked, her eyes snapping open; a strangled cry escaped her throat before she could silence herself. The Commander shuddered, sitting up and resting her face in her hands; it never left her. It never would.

With a heavy sigh she swung her legs over the edge of her bed, she should've been up and about already anyway.

Once dressed, she walked to her door, slowly, not really wanting to rejoin the 'outside world' - part of her simply wanted to stay in her room. Stay inside and away from anyone who would see how vulnerable she really was.

Shaking her head, and trying to dispel the weak feeling throughout her entire body, she opened the door with a sliding hiss - only to pause.

"Commander, I…" Liara stumbled for something to say, looking both surprised and apprehensive. How long had she been there? Ashira felt like a ball of ice had settled in her gut. Of all the people, Liara was the worst one for her right now - the Asari had accomplished something that hadn't been done since before the massacre on Akuze.

She'd softened the Commander's heart. Maybe that's why her will to put up a barrier suddenly fell away; Ashira let her shoulder's sag just a little.

"What is it, Liara?"

She noticed the morose tone in Ashira's voice immediately, it was a first to say the least. The Commander was usually quite reserved regards truly personal things, unless someone brought up Akuze; like that Human man in the Citadel, Conrad.

Liara couldn't really blame Ashira for being so harsh on him, it was simply insulting for him to insinuate that he could've done better than the marine's that she had trained and lived with. The ones she had to watch die in a macabre bloodbath.

Collecting herself, the Asari attempted a smile; the fractured look in Ashira's eyes didn't exactly inspire happiness in her. "I was merely coming to see if you were alright, you have been locked away in your room for a while now, and closed the com. Joker wanted me to make sure you were fine, I…_we _both thought that maybe everything was bearing down on you a little. Saving an entire galaxy isn't your average mission," she said, biting her lip. Liara was trying to stop herself from directly asking why Ashira looked more like a lost, saddened child more than the strong, fearless soldier she had come to know, and love.

No one was perfect, not even the Commander. No one could honestly expect her to be; though Udina might argue a different point because of her being 'an avatar of the Human race'. Politicians rarely cared for the personal grievances of others.

Ashira shook her head lightly, "Joker has nothing to worry about. I was looking over all the information we have so far on Saren before sleeping."

Liara was hardly convinced, Ashira's tone and generally dour appearance gave away as such; she wasn't even trying. "Ash," she slipped out of formal. "If you do not mind my asking, what's wrong?"

The Commander's gaze sharpened, and she frowned a little, feeling suddenly defensive. But she fought it down, it wasn't the time; and right now she felt too weak to actually brush this off. Whatever 'this' was - she'd had that nightmare before, but it had gotten to her easier than usual. Maybe it did have something to do with the mission; maybe it was just easier to be open around someone she trusted.

She stepped aside, silently inviting the other into her room; Liara took it and the door slid shut behind her with a second low hiss. Ashira sat on the edge of her bed, staring resolutely at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing she'd ever had blessing to look at. "You've read my file, what happened on Akuze," Ashira spoke lowly, "it…haunts me, from time to time, it comes back to me in my dreams." She frowned deeply, her walls were crumbling fast. "I remember it, _every_ detail. Every shot fired, every scream, every damn drop of blood until the sun finally rose to reveal the mess I'd only seen from gunshot flashes."

Ashira slowly curled her hands into fists. "All I did, was run, hide and _cower _wherever I could for as long as I could." She hadn't even noticed that Liara had moved, but she _did_ notice when a pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind. Ashira tensed for a moment, but steadily relaxed back against the Asari, until her head was resting on Liara's shoulder. She heard Liara breathe a low sigh of a relief, obviously she hadn't expected Ashira to react the way she had. "What else could you have done? If you had tried to do the same as your fellows, you would have surely died along with them," her voice was softer than usual, warmer; comforting.

The Commander merely closed her eyes, a pained look crossing her face briefly as the images of the dying marines flashed through her mind again. Liara continued, "think of all the people you have saved up to now, all of them alive because you survived that day." Seeing this had little effect, her voice lowered. "Including me…"

Ashira opened her eyes, her gaze sombre; but she smiled weakly in response to the other's words. The expression caused a sting in Liara's chest, she hated seeing Ashira in pain. Mustering what little courage she had right now, Liara leant down and pressed her lips to Ashira's. A flutter of both excitement and dread passed through her as the Commander inhaled sharply; but she made no move to shove the Asari away. Reaching up slowly, Ashira placed her hands either side of Liara's face, returning her kiss. It made for a slightly awkward embrace, given that it was basically upside down, but neither really minded.

A few short moments later, and the need for air forced them to part. Ashira had shifted so she faced Liara, and had climbed onto the bed - on her knees; arms wrapped around Liara's waist to hold her close. The Asari was slowly stroking her hand through Ashira's dark hair when she heard her speak. "What would I do without you?" Ashira murmured softly from Liara's shoulder.

Liara felt a small smile come to her lips, "fall apart? I guess _I_ will be the one protecting _you_ in this." Ashira laughed then, warmly, honestly. "How ironic that the 'big, strong soldier' needs a protector," she lifted her head, wearing a smile. "I wouldn't trust anyone else."

* * *

I hope that wasn't too bad, I've been playing ME a lot since I got it recently - yes, I know it was released 2008 (pc) :P - and it eventually inspired this. Quite fond of Liara ^^

I realize its not exactly clear at what point in the ME storyline this is, but to be honest I didn't know where to put it, so I'll you decide, eheh...running now.

Please R&R! It convinces the psychiatrist I'm a productive member of society!


End file.
